Impostor syndrome

… a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a „fraud“. I would describe it as „not feeling good enough“.

First of all, I feel like this Generation, like people in general living in this time and age, deal with so much more than the Generations before them, I mean where the world stands right now, it’s just A LOT. 2020 for instance, what the heck did NOT happen this year? I’m sure all of us can agree that we are very much different than we were when this year started, i certainly had to get my priorities straight and set boundaries I did not know I needed to set.

One of the feelings or state of mind I had to battle with was the feeling of just not being enough, the feeling of not deserving good, the feeling of not belonging where I am right know. Who knows the term „Fake it till you make it“ ? I felt like I was doing that, faking that I was confident even tho I had some very low moments where I was everything but confident, faking being a certain type of way to belong, faking looking a certain type of way to be accepted in a certain type of group, or faking having a certain body type, just to be a successful Fashion blogger. But faking it till you make it leaves you with what at the end ? it leaves you with two maybe three, maybe even four different versions of yourself, I think you can make the aftermath of what problems that brings. It even gets worse if people love, or are even obsessed with the versions of you that are not the real you. OMG how exhausting is that ? like you know the feeling when you can finally get your bra off after a long day ? yeah that’s how it feels to just get home and strip of all those personalities that are not the real you. Who are you ?

You know i realized that this „feeling like a fraud“ thing is just a matter of the mind, its you not trusting yourself that causes this, you not seeing the value in your existence, not believing that there is actually something special about you that not everybody has. Overcoming your fears, stretching your capacity, being bold is NOT fake, getting out of your comfort zone, not letting certain types of feelings hinder you from getting things done or evolving is Not being a fraud, you doing something bad, realizing that it’s bad, then changing it and becoming a better person is not being an imposture, it’s called GROWTH. You know what „fake“ is,like being a fraud ? it’s having values and morals but going against those, going against what you actually think and are, going against your SELF. Fake is the opposite of integrity, being and imposture is the opposite of being real, and only you know what your real is, nobody knows you better than you, you have to get that.

But you, you made it where you are cause you stretched, you overcame, you believed in yourself, you took your talent and discipline and made something out of it. You grew. You evolved. You belong here. Nobody wrote that exam for you right? Nobody stood up every day to get that thing done, but you did right ? And even tho sometimes we have to do things that are maybe a little bit out of character, its not totally bad to be an opportunist, just don’t go against your true SELF and what you stand for. I can’t say it enough, we HAVE to know who we are, you have to be prepared to fight for your identity in this perverted, selfish and ignorance driven society. Yo belong in that room full of Ceo’s cause you worked damn hard to get there, you deserve that beautiful and healthy relationship cause every decent human being does, You deserve that audience cause you stood up every single day to get there, You deserve that Job cause you are you ! don’t let anybody tell you different. FIGHT, fight for your identity, fight for You.