Self-confidence, a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.
I often get that question, how can I feel or be more confident, how can I get out of my bubble and stand my ground, how can I feel confident in the Body I am in, knowing it doesn’t look perfect or doesn’t meet today’s beauty standards.
In my opinion there is something wrong with saying self-confidence is a feeling. Feelings come and go, feelings are most of the time not controllable. If you see ’self-confidence‘ in that way, saying its a feeling or an emotion, you won’t be able to have it if its needed, even worse, its not going to be a part of your identity. So instead of saying “ I want feel confident“, lets rather say “ I chose to be confident „.
To choose something is a decision which gives u the power to have it, or not. That’s what helped me with staying my ground and speak up if needed. I decided to be bold, to be self-confident, to stay may ground even if there is nobody to back me up. That’s how you do it, you decide and stand in that decision no matter what, it’s also about knowing my worth as a human and not seeing myself like a worthless something.
It’s not easy I know, but what in this world that helps you evolve is easy ?
Even with our bodies and looks, look at yourself. Do you see something you don’t like ? Good ! so does every human being on this earth, knowing that you are not the only one having to accept that not everything on oneself is going to be perfect will bring some sense into our minds. Self-confidence has nothing to do with how you look, that is also one of the common mistakes with we do, thinking you can’t be confident if something about us doesn’t look quite right. You know I think confidence walks alongside self love, so instead of focusing on your outta appearance, start building inner beauty, become a person of integrity, a person of truth and Love, a person that empowers and encourages people. Sometimes my mind tries to trick me into- okay you’ve decided to be confident but on what ground ? that’s when I can tell my say, you know what, I make people smile, I am a person other people can rely on, I am a humble person. Have a solid foundation of beauty inside, believe me, it will help you tremendously.
Another thing is also the problem with comparison, self-confident people are focused on themselves. They don’t live other peoples lives or watch other people live. Its about focusing on what you want and who you want to become. Being at peace with you and accepting that you are mortal, that you are trying to make „Life“ work for you the same as everybody else is trying.
Self-confidence is energy, the same as self-love is. You have to let it fill you up from deep within. Get your priorities straight, being the most beautiful looking girl in your class is not a goal, being the baddest bi*** on Instagram ain’t it either.
Can I be honest with you ?
You will never be the most beautiful person on the planet, neither will you be the smartest, or the nicest or…. for a particular person you might be, but again, that are expectations and goals destined to make you crash and feel lost. Trust me, focus on your internal beauty, make it a solid foundation of your being, that energy will attract to many other good energies.
Also, there is nothing wrong with going to the gym and wanting your body to look good, or having pedicures, facials etc. I even recommend it, cause taking care of your body should be important for you too, but in everything have balance. Don’t obsess over it, don’t be depressed if things don’t look the way beauty standards say they should look like, or if you miss a waxing appointment etc.
You got this, there are treasures lying within you, that you should be more then confident about. Don’t let the world fool you, looks fade,but internal things, Theo don’t die that easy.
Love you and welcome home.
Self & other stories 